Anti-Meeting Spray

“Kills 99.9% of Unnecessary Syncs”
Now with extra “this could’ve been an email.”

A revolutionary air-freshener for stale agendas, hollow brainstorms, and recurring calls that achieve absolutely nothing.
One spritz and watch even the most enthusiastic middle manager slowly back away.

Scent profile:

Top notes: Cancelled calendar invites

Mid notes: Slight whiff of plausible deniability

Base: Passive-aggressive silence

Bottle says:
📅 “Spray generously at the first sign of a standing meeting.”

Ideal for:

Creatives booked into seven back-to-backs

Strategists allergic to PowerPoint updates

Founders who believe “asynchronous” is a vibe

Bonus: Also repels team-building activities and Friday “quick connects.”

Disclaimer: Won’t work on that one guy who “just wanted to loop you in.”