Greenwashing Soap

Scent: “Questionable Social Responsibility”
Now with 30% fewer ethics.

Finally—a bar of soap that cleans your conscience, not just your hands.
Infused with vague mission statements and half-hearted commitments to change, this soap leaves your skin tingling with self-congratulation.

Packaging says:
🟢 “100% natural… depending on who you ask.”

Proudly made in a carbon-neutral supply chain*
(*only if you ignore Scope 3 emissions and the offshore factory).

Ideal for:

Brands that “give back” every Earth Day

Agencies pitching purpose after pitching Pepsi

CMOs with a sustainability slide and a private jet

Warning: May cause moral fog. Do not use near fact-checkers.