Meeting Recovery Balm

“For Post-Zoom Trauma & Verbal Ping-Pong Fatigue”
Because no one should have to emotionally process a 90-minute alignment session alone.

This soothing balm is formulated for the brain fog, existential dread, and sudden career doubt that follow a truly unnecessary meeting.
Infused with herbal extracts, false hope, and a dash of unchecked rage.

Label reads:
💬 “Apply liberally after hearing: ‘Let’s take this offline.’”

Key benefits:

Reduces swelling caused by being talked over

Soothes burns from getting assigned action points you didn’t agree to

Rebuilds the will to live before your next sync

Ideal for:

Planners who just sat through 12 opinions and 0 decisions

Creatives who said one thing and got five follow-ups

Anyone who’s been asked to “circle back” twice in 24 hours

Warning: Not safe for recurring standups. Nothing is.