PRIVACY POLICY
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Last updated: The day we realized you were watching.
At The Average Adman, we value your privacy almost as much as we value buzzwords. This page is our legally binding pinky promise that we won’t do anything too evil with your data.
This document exists not because we expect you to read it (you won’t), but because we’re legally required to write it (and we did). So here it is: a full, honest, legally-sound privacy policy—dressed up in sarcasm, truth bombs, and the kind of transparency you’d never expect from actual agencies.
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1.1 BASIC INFORMATION ON DATA PROTECTION
(AKA: Who’s creeping and why)
Owner:
Marc Blanco Juan (The Average Adman himself) – one man, one laptop, one highly flammable opinion about the ad industry.
Purpose:
To provide you with the services you ask for (e.g., overpriced merch, soul-crushing newsletters, ironic awards), maintain communications regarding those services, and occasionally send messages that remind you we exist.
Legal Justification:
•Execution of a contract (you buy, we deliver)
•Your explicit consent (you opted in—don’t blame us now)
Data Recipients:
We won’t sell, rent, or casually toss your data into the influencer void. Unless we’re legally forced to (in which case, sorry).
Your Rights:
You have the right to access, rectify, delete, and carry your data like a digital suitcase. You can also complain, revoke consent, or demand we forget you faster than a junior strategist after a bad brainstorm.
Just email hello@averageadman.com
We’ll respond. Probably.
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1.2 ADDITIONAL INFORMATION ON DATA PROTECTION
(The bit the lawyer said we had to keep verbatim-ish)
Data Controller:
Marc Blanco Juan
NIF: 39923363D
C/ Barranco de Borja SN, 46614 Valencia (Spain)
Why We Process Your Data:
Because we want to:
•Send you what you asked for
•To manage our accounting, invoicing, taxes and legal obligations like grown-ups
•Keep you posted about our satirical revolutions and to communicate with you about your order, request, or that time you almost bought a mug
•To occasionally tell you we exist (usually via email, sometimes via passive-aggressive merch drops)
•Be legally compliant
How Long We Keep It:
Until you tell us to stop. Or until the legal retention period ends. Or the end of the internet. Whichever comes first. (Legally speaking: only as long as needed to meet obligations, then poof.)
On What Grounds We Do This:
•Contractual obligation: you wanted merch, we need your address
•Consent: you gave it, probably while distracted but you agreed to the updates, satire, and occasional existential dread.
Do We Share Your Data?
Nope. Unless the police ask. Or Interpol. Or aliens. But definitely not adtech bros.
International Transfers?
Your data stays in the EU, where the laws are strict and the coffee is strong.
Your Rights (Again):
You can access, rectify, delete, restrict, object, port your data, and complain if you’re not happy.
Just email us. We’ll handle it respectfully and maybe add a joke.
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2.1 ABOUT COOKIES
Cookies Are Not a Snack (Here):
Cookies are tiny files stored on your device that tell us you exist. They’re harmless. They’re useful. They’re everywhere. Think of them as your digital shadow—but with better manners.
Cookies help us:
•Make the site work
•Track how long you stare at our overpriced tote bag
•See if you clicked “add to cart” just to feel something
Cookies are not viruses, malware, or LinkedIn invites. You’re safe.
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2.2 TYPES OF COOKIES WE USE
•Proprietary Cookies: Our cookies. Handcrafted with sarcasm.
•Third-Party Cookies: Google Analytics, Facebook, etc. Blame them.
•Session Cookies: Disappear when you leave. Like agency values.
•Persistent Cookies: Stick around. Like that unpaid intern.
•Technical Cookies: Make the site work. No magic here.
•Personalisation Cookies: Remember your preferences. Or pretend to.
•Analysis Cookies: Help us optimize. Kinda.
•Advertising Cookies: Rarely used. We’re the ad industry’s inner troll, remember?
•Behavioural Advertising Cookies: Observe patterns. Not your soul (yet).
Specifically, we use:
•Google Analytics
•Universal Analytics
•Proprietary cookies
And yes, some services (like login via social media) may leave a persistent cookie. Delete it if it creeps you out.
More here: Google Analytics Privacy Overview
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2.3 HOW TO DISABLE COOKIES
If you want to disable cookies:
•Go to your browser settings
•Find “Cookies”
•Click “No thanks”
•Watch as certain parts of our site glitch out like an agency pitch deck without the designer
Want to ditch cookies? Here’s how:
But disabling them may break stuff. Your call.
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CONSENT
By using this site, you agree to all this. Even the weird parts. Especially the weird parts.
This policy is governed by Spanish law. Which means it’s legally binding and stylish.
Need help? Questions? Existential clarity? Email us.
We got you.
